it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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