oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
