yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you had me at cake vodka
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
