I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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