just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just found puke in my bra..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
