he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
