Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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