CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
And then my night got REAL pukey
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He did a backflip because drugs
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