as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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