hotel room ftw
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
