Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
