It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
