that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
