hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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