Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
