Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
