1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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