Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
