paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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