mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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