I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
