well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
