She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
