is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
