Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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