If that was your dad, he is hot
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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