She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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