I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
