he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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