If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
