Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
