So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
