omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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