Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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