talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I died a long time ago.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
