I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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