Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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