I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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