Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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