what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
