WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
