Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
