"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
