You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
