i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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