At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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