what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
