she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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