Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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