im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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