Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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