Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
