people are starting to question the shark bite story
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I would fuck him just for his dog
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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