Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
